It's not something I fear.
A lingering painful death- absolutely something I fear when I think about it, but I seldom do.
Any yet here I am on the downhill slide and death is rearing it's head around me. An acquaintance invited me to be participate in a 13 day Death Awareness Primer. I declined. A friend has asked me to be her executrix. I accepted. The reasons for these decisions are very personal. In the first situation I feel no need to prepare for death. Emotionally I need no preparation, spiritually I need no help. For me it is over and this is one trip I don't need to pack for! In the second instance while my acceptance is dispassionate my reaction is fueled by love and admiration.
My friend of many decades is a woman of some small means. She has built a company and her wealth and she has a legacy to leave. She lives her life as a single person. That she has asked me to ensure her kindness and contribution is remembered is an honour I gladly accept. That I can provide her with comfort knowing her final wishes will be respected is a small gift that I can give to her and it makes me happy to know I can so easily do this.
More deadly thoughts soon.