When? he asked. When does middle age end and old age begin?

"When" he asked, " when does middle age end and old age begin?"

It took awhile to recover from his question.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Small Things

I don't really want to get into the whole  Boomerang Kids  discussion or debate. This is just how it is  today, this week, this  month; for now .
I have two kids, men actually. One has been  out on his own for close to 10 years and the other has not. I love my guys and more than that, I like my guys. I think they are wonderful men. I admire the people they have become. They are generous and helpful and funny. Recently they have both left town-literally.  The younger one has bounced in and out of our home for the last 3 years working in other communities and then returning home as the season geared down, travelling,  returning home, and setting off to work out of town again.  The last time he arrived home he said,

" This is the last time I am doing this. When I leave next time, I leave for good"

As the season for him to leave approached there was a flurry of activity as he sorted, filed, packed and disposed of a decade of the un-disposed detritus of life. I was pressed into service. It was bittersweet because while there was almost a decade when my mantra was "I will miss him when he's gone" the fact hit me squarely in the face. I no longer felt that way. We had moved on from that parent-child gulley of tension to an easy rhythm of respect. Still I am no fool, and  it was past time for him to be gone.

Interspersed with his preparation was his older brother's preparation to relocate after a "world tour."  We went to his soccer games -"this could be the last time" we said to each other. His Dad shared sports with him on the little screen at home and the big screen in the bar. (Small mercies- *I* am NOT a sports fan!) We shared breakfast, lunch, and dinner with him -

"Who knows when we'll do this again?" we said to each other.

Life has been a whirlwind of activity-not chosen activity but truly a whirlwind where you are picked up and swept along in our case by the energy of two whirlwinds.

Before the scheduled date, a call came and our younger son was on a plane heading out . Left behind were partially filled boxes, full hangers, unfiled taxes, tools, records and a car. Mom - that's me stepped in. I am delighted to say the taxes are filed , the car is sold and a very few of the boxes have been closed.

Elder son left a few weeks after his brother. His father and I helped him get his home ready to rent, sell his car and we ate, reminised and just plain hung out together. "We may never do this again" we said to each other.

It's been three weeks since the last plane left. My husband has taken to leaving the laundry basket right outside  our son's door when he comes up from our basement laundry room.

"I know no one is going to come barrelling through there"  he said to me one day by way of an explanation  I hadn't asked for. I nodded. I notice he has taken to parking his truck in the middle of the drive way. It is the only vehicle.  None of our friends  would expect to park on the  rear driveway. As I leave the house I grab my purse and go I notice. There is no shuffling of coats to find where my things have been buried. From time to time I find myself glancing towards the back of the house surprised to find there are no large shoes askew on the floor by the door.

I DO miss them now they are gone, and so does he. We are though, alone together at last.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

You Don't Have to Be stupid to Sit Here. .

but it helps.
 I had occasion to sit in the waiting room of and automotive repair shope today . I was waiting for a flat tire to be fixed on my sons car. The television was on . A movie was playing  on the 42" television. An odd movie, a very odd movie. I left and circulated the store as  the movie played on.I returned. I left and paced the floor outside the service desk.