When? he asked. When does middle age end and old age begin?

"When" he asked, " when does middle age end and old age begin?"

It took awhile to recover from his question.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

2017-04-05 Day 40


Today I set out with  fruit salad  with nuts and coconut milk. Coffee with coconut milk. Lunch was chip truck chips- tisk tisk! Dinner was an awesome Nicosia salad  with mango dressing-recipe from the Ottawa   Citizen.
and  pure dark chocolate with  pumpkin seeds.

Last night dinner was awesome. . . but tonight is another day and I  at least have recorded today.

I am afraid  that my weight loss will not stick. I have been super sick when I went off plan. . . but the sugar dragon is not tamed. Seeing myself in the dressing room today in the full length mirrors was a wake up call to continue with this in spite of the cravings. The weather will be my ally. The bike will be out soon.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

2017-03-23 Day 27


I certainly am on the home stretch. But as with all things, I seldom get the results I set out to achieve within the time I have set aside. Certainly I have learned to cook a few new recipes and have had some ultra tasty meals but for the most part I eat as I have always (within the last 15-20 years) eaten with some adaptations. Large and significant adaptations but  not radical changes.

What has changed is my relationship to food and  my ability to hear what my body is telling me. That surge of energy that I feel is no longer from caffeine - it is more  than the results of a stimulant. What I feel is the result of the high quality nutrition, the fuel, I have given myself. My body is fueled and ready to go. Translating this into action is something I am still working on. I have become very sedentary. I hate the weather. I have felt the cold so severely for the last   several years. I do recognize that that too is the result of an inadequate diet and a lazy lifestyle. From my initial h-angry feelings that caused me to eat three meals a day by 6 o'clock I have slipped back  into my breakfast, a second more casual meal at 2 or 3 o'clock and dinner by 7 -ish.  I have intended to cook this week but slipped into preparing what is available so I don't have to shop a-g-a-i-n.

I am very pleased with myself  because in spite of potentially setting myself up for failure I have adapted and stayed within the rules. Going forward I hope to embrace more of the program and reap more of the rewards. Over recent years I have relearned to be kind and generous to myself. I have learned to have an attitude of abundance allowing myself to enjoy the time and comforts of my status as an empty-nester. I have accepted the luxury of pedicures and a good haircut and quality cosmetics and care products. What I have not done is allow myself to luxuriate in an abundance of quality food. While I would think nothing of buying a roast I did not eat for however many dollars and ultimately wasting some of it (one man will only eat so much of the same thing)  I felt a sense of decadent indulgence when I bought a small container of $11 shrimp for no purpose other than to add to my breakfast. I had been more inclined to cook low budget meals that I didn't enjoy  and fully consume neutralizing my revulsion with crackers, toast and butter. I was more likely to dole out a quarter or half an avocado that to eat a whole one and on and on.  I frolicked in an abundance of good food but was not effectively consuming it.

So on to Thursday. . . I still had not been to the grocery store and it was a busy day for me.

Ken made potatoes and eggs. He kindly cooked them in olive oil for me. Afterwards he told me He had done 6 eggs and three potatoes. I know I never get half the eggs :) but chances are I had half the potatoes by the time the morning was done as I noshed on the remainders while cleaning the kitchen.

I drank coffee midmorning with coconut milk - naturally!

The day flew by as I was super busy and by 2:30 I realized I was ravenous and stopped for a bit. With nothing suitable in the cupboards I ended up with a "fruitbowl"  a few canned peaches, almond butter a sprinkle of raisins, coconut and coconut milk with a dash of cinnamon to fool the old tastebuds.

Dinner came late after a meeting and the vegetarian in me could not face the ribs that Mr. Me was raving about- I am just not there on the whole meat on the bone thing... it's a life long aversion.

I felt a sense of panic but reached for the eggs. I added a little of my old friend coconut milk- solid from the refrig to give a boost to the last of the nasty eggs we had (buying eggs is a shared responsibility and the young man doesn't have the money to buy good eggs) I sauted the last of the bok- choy and faked room temperature with  some precooked frozen shrimp warmed slightly in the microwave. Not bad!

I added a couple more slices of peaches to a bowl doused with coconut flakes and milk- no nuts this time and called it a meal.

2017-03-22 Day 25


Hot lemon water

Garlic and onion sauteed zoodles for breakfast with 2 eggs scrambled all sauteed in butter oil

Coffee with coconut milk

Clementine and pecans

Chopped plum tomatoes sauteed in  coconut oil  with baby bok choy, pan deglazed with water and a titch of almond flour- spiced with garlic and onion powder and a sprinkle of pecans served with precooked shrimps - yummmmmy!

Canned peaches in unsweetened fruit syrup with a few pecans and coconut cream

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

2017-03-21 Day 23


2 eggs scrambled with onions in butter oil seared cherry tomatoes, hot lemon water

Coffee with coconut milk

Cocktail shrimp with lemon and dill, salad greens with  oil and vinegar, clementine

Stir fry-with chicken.  Cabbage, bok-choy, celery, mushrooms, onions and cauliflower rice.

Fruit bowl with almond butter, pecans, coconut and coconut milk.

Yesterday was a browse day.

We had beautiful homemade curried squash soup- thanks Karen! Left over green salad and potato/egg salad, chicken thighs with apples and carrots left over

Fruit bowl with almond butter, pecans, coconut and coconut milk.

I think lunch was pecans and an orange... and almond butter with strawberries.
Rooibus and coconut milk

Breakfast was potato salad  and strawberries it felt like a picnic.
There could have been more food I just forget.

I do think I have more energy. I need to move because I notice that I need to get going or the good feeling fades. I have more interest in eating and am enjoying cooking things that appeal to me. Except for all the dish washing - ugh! I hope the avocados are ripe tomorrow.

2017-03-22 Day 24


2 eggs scrambled with a potato in coconut oil

1/2 avocado with lemon juice  pepper and a can of tuna

yam medallions, grilled asparagus, shrimp with lemon and dill. green salad

nut parfait with coconut cream

My flat belly is no longer flat. On the other hand I have good energy. Onward!
I walked to the drug store, Falcon and home. The to south keys this evening-bus home-YES!!

Saturday, March 18, 2017

2017-03-18 Day 21


I'll need to work backwards but let's start with what I know and can remember

Breakfast chicken recipe- thighs, apple, cabbage, carrot and cashews. 2 eggs scrambled. Hot water and lemon, mint tea

mint tea
macademia nuts
rooibus coco chai  with coconut milk

Potato salad and roasted chicken

Sundae- raisins, blueberries, almond butter, coconut, pecans,strawberries and coconut milk with cinnamon.

Yesterday Day 20

My plan was to make a recipe from the book but I was short ingredients as they had been bought but folded into other meals over the last several days.

I had chickens thighs and cooked them,
I needed pecans, I subbed cashews,
I needed yams I used carrots and I needed spinach and used cabbage. The apple that was required was used. I deglazed the pan with balsamic vinegar and bone broth and baked it for 10 minutes at 400 F while  asparagus brushed with olive oil baked.

prior to that I cannot recall so much . I was nauseated and missed lunch and I believe there was an apple with almond  butter

Breakfast was eggs and potatoes with a ground pork patty.

Thursday Day 19
Was an odd day. I broke my fast with with a 2 ounce swig of orange juice. I had tea- can't recall Ken cooked me egg warmed mashed taters. I had a date and  almond roll and tea later in the day. I felt nausea whenever I thought of food.

Wednesday Day 18.

Bangers and mash from the book, I mashed potatoes and yams but otherwise except for extra cooking time I followed the recipe otherwise. There was pumpkin seeds and strawberries with the last of the pineapple for afters.   I recall coffee and coconut milk,sometime during the afternoon.

Breakfast was eggs and mushrooms. I snacked on salted toasted almonds  before bed.


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

2017-03-14 Day 17

I woke up not wanting to eat. I had peppermint tea and ended up forgetting to eat.
I ended up having a dish of fruit and cashews and pepitas with coconut milk and almond butter
Lunch was frozen soup whoops I realized it was an older batch and had navy beans in it and rice = whoops my first real slip up.
Dinner was beef spaghetti sauce with zoodles whoo- hoo.  The spiralizer was easy to use AND I steamed them over the spaghetti noodles for the last 3 minutes. easy-peasy! I ended the meal with strawberries, blueberries coconut cashews and coconut milk.
I know I have to be careful to ensure easy options are available as I tire of cooking and  eating.

2017-03-13 Day 16- The Downhill Climb

eggs and mushrooms
lemon water
pecans and apple, almond butter  chicken mango chicken meat ball and mango salsa
coffee with coconut milk
baked brussells sprouts, yam and potato with onions and eggs
applesauce with coconut and pumpkin seeds

Monday, March 13, 2017

2017-03-11 Day 14 and 2017-03-12 Day 15

Saturday and Sunday

Well, yesterday was an awesome day. I once again awoke with  smile on my face and a song in my heart, or maybe I didn't but that was the feeling I had.

I had an awesome breakfast although truth be told it's getting late and the memory is fading but it was eggs, potatoes, tomato and. . .  I can't recall but I shared it with Mr. Me which is always good. I do remember I was so satisfied that I had to remind myself about lunch and then left my rewarmed cauliflower rice in the microwave after having some of the chicken soup I have been feasting on all week. Soup is probably not the best way to to describe the bowl of carrots, mushrooms, chicken and potato that has been keeping my tummy full  various meals this week. I did come back for the cauliflower rice and added the last of the Matane shrimp and avocado.

I have also shifted my practice and am trying to get in the mindset of getting going first thing in the morning rather than sitting about until I start to feel poorly!

The best part of the day however was getting the kitchen squared away and trying out my new spiralizer!  I made my first batch of zucchini noodles! I had a few hiccups as I was working without instructions but over all it was a great success- and fun!

I puttered around in the kitchen much  of the day and made the AMAZING Romesco sauce and garlic shrimp served with the zoodles for dinner. Now I have to say it was all very easy to make and truly not a days worth of work it's just me - I tend to procrastinate when I am unsure of myself and so I paced myself over the day doing the noodles first, prepping garlic and onions,  hanging curtains - or rather chatting with a friend while she hung them for me, and going shopping and finally making the sauce up before greeting our dinner guest and  finishing up the menu. The whole  dish was amazing, such a great taste everyone raved about it, and we all agreed the recipe is a keeper.

I served ice cream to the others and had 2 more of the little date rolls with almonds  to finish my meal along with tea and coconut milk.

This morning, arrrgh this morning was NOT a continuation of the previous two. While the song was in my heart the smile was far from my heart. I had to be up early and had foolishly stayed up late and with the time change, I was down right stupid. As the morning progressed I could not stop yawning  and once my business was taken care of inspite of being  fed,  bathed, and dressed I hit the couch, noticing my face had broken out with a lovely bloom. I look as if I was outside in the cold and got a touch of frost bite.

The breakfast was a microwave poached egg, half an avocado, and a chicken meatball with mango salsa. YUMMmmmmmmm Hot water and lemon seem to be my morning friend.

Lunch was  a great salad with fruit and nuts and I know I am low on protein but I honestly had no appetite for more.

For dinner I finished off my Chicken soup- sad to see that go!

So back to the face and the exhaustion. I  did stay up late and I did not feel as bad as last Saturday but the one common thread of the two Saturdays was the shrimp -lovely big plump shrimp. I don't want to think they are connected and I did have the little bitty Matane shrimp over the course of the week.

Now some many years ago I became familiar with Yeast Busters. I did there regime a few times and it did help me with an imbalance that saw me perpetually dealing with a vag yeast infection. That  problem has subsided  with the YB regime and  changes in my personal routine but this knowledge got me to wondering if perhaps the natural sugar from the dates two days in a row might be responsible for the bloom on my face as this is one of the many things Yeast Busters talks about. There are none of the obvious indications of a visit from my old friend candida  but SOMETHING is amiss. Maybe I will just skip next Saturday altogether! The fog subsided  about 3 pm and I had a good rest of the day

. I have my shopping list ready and have picked my recipes for the coming week. I am going to steer clear of the dates for the rest of my 30 days and may try shrimp again n a few days. but not until after my dental procedure as THAT is going to through me for a loop.

I am on day 15 of 30 so my hat is off to me. It has not been hard, I have not found it challenging but maybe the date rolls are my nemesis. After the first 3 days I stopped telling myself" it's just for 30 days." Maybe I have not done this right since I didn't get into the book until the end of my first week but I am eating more protein and fats I was unfamiliar with and I have not has dairy or grain or sulphites, carageenan and  added sugars so I think I am good.

Friday, March 10, 2017

2017-03-10 Day 13

I may have broken my diet today with dates wrapped in crushed almonds, all compliant BUT...

2 eggs in butter oil folded around shrimp :)
mint tea

mint tea and date nut rolls 3+1

homemade chicken soup

Mango salsa , mango meatballs, green beans , cauliflower fried rice

decaf tea with coconut milk

I woke up feeling fabulous. I lost it by 10:30. I need to adjust my routine. I don't think sitting and reading the paper is the right  plan for my mornings when I am not caffeinated. No one to be quiet for in the coming week and the time change is coming up so when I awake it will seem later anyway. I think I will save the morning paper for the afternoon!
I checked out the menu of the restaurant I will be eating on day 30. It looks very do-able. That is a relief. I will not have to call ahead and ask for an accommodation of any sort. Good advice from My Whole 30 Guide to Health and Food Freedom book. Now to strategize for the week which will be much easier  although I hope to touch base with several people I don't usually get see. I think I will plan to meet for a walk or the museum rather than over food.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

2017-03-09 Day 12

Coffee with coconut milk

Mushrooms, onions, red pepper, potato, 2 eggs cooked in butter oil and coconut oil

green tuna, cucumber, pineapple, strawberries, almond butter.

peppermint tea

mango meatballs and cauliflower rice.

I finally made time to read a bit on my Whole30 book. It seems I have been under prepared for the challenges of doing this diet but honestly perhaps I have stumbled across it at the right time fore me because I am honestly doing just fine. It's true I have looked longingly at a few things and there was that one tempting piece of chocolate I asked Ken to eat or put out of sight but truly the cravings have been okay. My mouth is simply shut.

It was very interesting to read that the discomfort and "hang over" I attributed to the Kombucha I drank on day 7 is actually typical of that point int he cycle.

Last evening after a very compliant soup dinner I had enough gas to blast me out of the chair- not what I ate it seems, but  a symptom of how far I am down the road. I can't believe I am approaching half way in the program but I am. My challenge will come at the end of 30 days  as my lack of planning means I will finish up day 30 in Toronto with a dinner engagement- it is an omelette place so I should be fine but then away for 6 day and since I jumped in with 2 feet  and no planning I did not know about the re-entry phase.

I think the easiest course may be to stay on the plan for an additional week rather than  messing up a month of  progress. Although I will be in a class all day for 4 days, I will  only be responsible for myself after that one meal and should be able to stay on the program with careful choices and the abundance of  ready cooked chicken and  bulk salads available.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

2017-03-08 Day 11

Some hungry today. I was a bit careless yesterday in ensuring that I had  all adequate fruits and veg. I also did a little cheat today and  weighed myself. I was inclined to do so because my  unbloated belly  seems smaller and some jiggles on my hips seemed to have lessened. Unfortunately the scale does not tell a positive tale. No loss, at this time.

Today I ate-
2 eggs omelette cooked in butter oil folded around tasty *Matane shrimp.
chai with coconut milk

tuna with lemon juice a bit of mayonnaise and avocado
date and almond goodie

toasted cashews
homemade chicken soup
sliced turkey, pineapple, strawberries, grapes and blue berries.
Rooibus coco chai with coconut milk.

* as a recovering vegetarian it is hard for me to find acceptable sources of protein . Matane shrimp are deep sea cold water shrimp harvested my Canadian ships. Cold water shrimp tend to to be small with a sweet flavor. Those I purchased are cooked and IQF on board as soon as they are caught. While they are ethically harvested and processed I find the taste suffers from years long past. They taste salty rather than sweet.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

2017-03-07 Day 10

Many days missed but all is going well. I have not been significantly hungry at any time. I do find that when I get hungry it is intense usually about  3  1/2 hours after eating.
Today is the first day that I have drank coffee since  day 1. I was surprised how well I have managed without coffee but today was a very nice social occasion with some lovely coconut milk 0=- much better than the original brand I tried.
This evening I had another one of those periods of intense well being, energy and happiness. Is it possible that Whole 30 is the answer to my decade long malaise  and energy sapped existance? I can only hope.

So today I ate-
A potato fried in olive oil with 2 lovely eggs.
an apple with almond butter
A tasty little cup of coffee with coconut milk
Matan cold water shrimp, avocado, cucumber, homemade mayonnaise and mange tout peas and blueberries with almond butter
Homemade chicken soup with celery, onions, mushrooms, carrots, potatoes, tomato paste.
Hot water with lemon

Thursday, March 2, 2017

2017-03-01 Day 4


Boiling water and lemon juice
A handful of cherry tomatoes  sauteed almost to caramelization  in butter oil
with 2 eggs scrambled

Chai with a little coconut milk

Left over homemade  chicken soup

Slow Cooker Chicken Tikka Marsala  with grated cabbage sauteed in tikka sauce
2 dates

This was incredibly tasty! My whole family loved it.

Strawberries and Blueberries drizzled with almond butter

I had a few glorious moments of feeling well and happy and energized today. I felt 40 again.

2017.02.28 Day 3

butter oil
2 eggs scrambled

clementine x2
2 chocolate coffee beans
left over yams and brussels sprouts with Balsamic vinegar reduction.

chicken soup
*mushrooms*potato*green beans* pork*carrots* onions* tomato* salsa
2 dates

pecans, pineapple, raisins, coconut, in apple sauce with cinnamon

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

2017-02-27 Day 2


2 eggs scrambled in coconut oil
cherry tomatoes
3 slices of smoked turkey

small salad with strawberries  and pecans
oil and vinegar


Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Sweet Potatoes and Balsamic Drizzle
homemade mayonnaise
Cukes, snow peas, tomatoes

#whole 30
It was an oily day.
I may have made proper mayo before but I cannot recall. Today I made it and failed. That's 10 ounces of oil I'll be dowsing my salad with for the next week  or two. It looks ugly but tastes fine and it is a pleasant change from oil and vinegar.
I made clarified butter earlier int he day and used it for the Brussels and Sweets. It seemed awfully extravagant to coat my veg in it  but  the dish tasted wonderful.

After tasting coffee with coconut milk yesterday morning... I wandered the kitchen this morning wondering how to begin my day. In the end before I headed out I remembered masala chai and was pleased to find how well the flavour holds up without milk.

Day 3 is rumoured to be a difficult one but I'm hoping with my soft start on Friday and Saturday that perhaps I'm already past it.


Sunday, February 26, 2017

2017.02.26 Day 1

Sunday food

2 cups of pepermint tea
2 eggs scrambled in olive oil
1/4 avocado
a few cashews

2 chocolate coffee bears


salad with pecans and strawberries, oil and vinegar dressing

rotisserie chicken
pineapple and strawberries
2 dates

Wednesday, February 15, 2017


It's not something I fear. 
A lingering painful death- absolutely something I fear when I think about it, but I seldom do. 

Any yet here I am on the downhill slide and death is rearing it's head around me. An acquaintance invited me to be participate in a 13 day  Death Awareness Primer. I declined. A friend has asked me to be her executrix. I accepted. The reasons  for these decisions are very personal. In the first situation I feel no need to prepare for death. Emotionally I need no preparation, spiritually I need no help. For me it is over  and this is one trip I don't need to pack for! In the second instance while my acceptance is dispassionate my reaction is fueled by love and admiration.

My friend of many decades is a woman of some small means. She has built a company and her wealth and she has a legacy to leave. She lives her life as a single person. That she has asked me to ensure her  kindness and contribution is remembered is an honour I gladly accept. That I can provide her with comfort  knowing her final wishes will be respected is a small gift that I can give to her and it makes me happy to know I can so easily do this.

More deadly thoughts soon.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

I'm there!

I have arrived. Sixty five years it is! Sixty five years, three months and one day.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

I will post today

I will post today because it is a good habit.
Sounds silly, but I always intend to post and don't. I will make it a habit to note the ideas I have so at the very least, I will have an idea or thought to share. Today, of course, my mind is empty of thoughts on aging.