Young no longer

I've had some thoughts for the now, not so young Callum. Not so much about the nebulous end of middle age but more about the realization of old age and the looming end of the road. But those thoughts are for another day, another post perhaps even another lifetime. I've had yet another birthday and feel an urgency and the speedy passage of time. I have places to go and stories to tell. Philosophy can wait for the dark side of the moon.

Romantic Language

 Each relationship with have it's own. There is no universal language of love. After forty years of marriage  I still thrill to our own personal endearments and cringe when a generic happens to pass his lips. Our private names are just for us and not used within the hearing of others. Pillow talk remains, just that; either a postprandial prelude to bed or a post coital tete a tete.

Personal experience has not been a help to me in my quest to compile a list of endearments for a work project and  perusing the Internet has convinced me that creativity is in it's death throes. It seems those who blog think, Angel, Baby, BabyGirl, BabyDoll, Big Boy, Bear, Boo, Bunny,Cutie, Darling, Dear, Dickie, Dickie Bird, Honey, Love, Luv, Sugar, Sunshine, Sweetheart, Sweetie, Sugar tits, Sweet buns, Gorgeous, Handsome, Hon, Honey, Kitten, Love, Pookie, Princess, Pumpkin, Shorty, Sugar are creative and worthy of sharing .

Oh how I despair! 

So it was a great pleasure to stumble upon the following  old blog post. I imagine the  author to now be   romantically involved, not doubt with a poet who appreciates her way with words. Sadly the blog has not been updated since 2011.

http://people.tribe.net/caroleeena/blog/1d46fdc3-0bfc-45ae-854a-49df838a0323

So what about you ? Pressed for words of love  how would you  address your beloved?

Small Things

I don't really want to get into the whole  Boomerang Kids  discussion or debate. This is just how it is  today, this week, this  month; for now .
 
I have two kids, men actually. One has been  out on his own for close to 10 years and the other has not. I love my guys and more than that, I like my guys. I think they are wonderful men. I admire the people they have become. They are generous and helpful and funny. Recently they have both left town-literally.  The younger one has bounced in and out of our home for the last 3 years working in other communities and then returning home as the season geared down, travelling,  returning home, and setting off to work out of town again.  The last time he arrived home he said,

" This is the last time I am doing this. When I leave next time, I leave for good"

As the season for him to leave approached there was a flurry of activity as he sorted, filed, packed and disposed of a decade of the un-disposed detritus of life. I was pressed into service. It was bittersweet because while there was almost a decade when my mantra was "I will miss him when he's gone" the fact hit me squarely in the face. I no longer felt that way. We had moved on from that parent-child gulley of tension to an easy rhythm of respect. Still I am no fool, and  it was past time for him to be gone.

Interspersed with his preparation was his older brother's preparation to relocate after a "world tour."  We went to his soccer games -"this could be the last time" we said to each other. His Dad shared sports with him on the little screen at home and the big screen in the bar. (Small mercies- *I* am NOT a sports fan!) We shared breakfast, lunch, and dinner with him -

"Who knows when we'll do this again?" we said to each other.

Life has been a whirlwind of activity-not chosen activity but truly a whirlwind where you are picked up and swept along in our case by the energy of two whirlwinds.

Before the scheduled date, a call came and our younger son was on a plane heading out . Left behind were partially filled boxes, full hangers, unfiled taxes, tools, records and a car. Mom - that's me stepped in. I am delighted to say the taxes are filed , the car is sold and a very few of the boxes have been closed.

Elder son left a few weeks after his brother. His father and I helped him get his home ready to rent, sell his car and we ate, reminised and just plain hung out together. "We may never do this again" we said to each other.

It's been three weeks since the last plane left. My husband has taken to leaving the laundry basket right outside  our son's door when he comes up from our basement laundry room.

"I know no one is going to come barrelling through there"  he said to me one day by way of an explanation  I hadn't asked for. I nodded. I notice he has taken to parking his truck in the middle of the drive way. It is the only vehicle.  None of our friends  would expect to park on the  rear driveway. As I leave the house I grab my purse and go I notice. There is no shuffling of coats to find where my things have been buried. From time to time I find myself glancing towards the back of the house surprised to find there are no large shoes askew on the floor by the door.

I DO miss them now they are gone, and so does he. We are though, alone together at last.

Speaking of Childish Delight

I spent some time with my favourite 15 month old yesterday. Last week we had been reading books together and I really hadn't paid too much  attention to his choice of books but yesterday. his mom was there and she mentioned that Baby Sign was his favourite book  and so he and I played "sign"as we went through the little book twice, and then again- repeat .

I was bored by that time and was hoping to have more adult conversation as this was not a one on one with the lad but had been  intended as a visit with Mom interspersed with periods of boy-time. He had other ideas and after we once again  very cutely signed our way through  drink, hot, finish, apple, bannana I tried to move onto other toys. The little man had other thoughts  and continued to sign more to me.  How could I not ! We worked our way through the book again several times.

Baby sign is not only incredibly cute it is very useful ! Allowing a non verbal child to convey his needs, desires and wants is a brilliant idea!  I can imagine the frustration that could have been avoided for my own sons had  I been aware if this system when they were small. Now if only I'd of had the presence of mind to sign finish back at him when he was insisting on more !

Here is a link I located if you are interested in knowing a little more about baby sign language.
http://www.babysignlanguage.com/chart/

What we do.

We buy CDs. We like to choose and handle our music. Bringing home new music to share is a gift like roses or wine. Later we discover a recording that has fallen out of play and we nod and smile and share it again.

Greybeard

Although we have grown old together, I have never again seen your chin.

Fall 2008

Afterwards. . .

silver whorls upon your chest, near where my head I lay to rest
what else are those old man's pyjamas keeping from me?